Whatever sleepy selfish.

I'm up late and unable to sleep after a couple of weeks of working midnight shifts. I feel tired but unable to sleep and want to go shopping. Luckily everything is closed. Oh do not remind me of online stores. Axck. There is a couple of books I would like to research before I buy.

Speaking of researching. I love to research, to find stuff out. Of course I want to research things that interest me. Not be paid to research things of no consequence. This researching bug stems from my need to control. If I can gather information I can gain footing of control. Information is power and control. Yes I know that control is an illusion....ya ya. Shut it. I love illusions. Embrace the illusion of control. Lift your own ego to the top of the mountain of the land of yourself. Ignore all else. Forget and ignore all others.

you can see how this is a downward spiral emotionally and morally.

Stop the Entitlement

I have a strong feeling of entitlement; some would say it is part of my generation. Possibly but I have it none the less. I feel and demand that things always go my way. I'm bothered by the smallest inconvenience, someone walking to slow in front of me, getting a bad assignment, the expensive shirt I bought looks like crap the next week, etc. The list goes on and on. I feel I deserve everything. In some way that stems from the sinless existence that we used to have, but lost and now because of our sin we deserve nothing!

Art & Work.

Today, I went to the MOMA, museum of modern art in New York. It was amazing. I don't always like the extreme abstract art; but this museum has such an amazing collection. It was fantastic. It makes me think that I definitely need to quit my job job and become an artist. Pursue the dream, but really that is another chapter to write later. Today, I was just thinking that art is so close to Godliness, not all art depicts godly things. But the act of creating, is on a major minor scale similar to the attribute of God of creating.

Short today, I'm tired, been working alot on this trip to New York and found out that it is going to be extended for another week. I love being in New York, but it is also nice to get home.

O Wicked day of Tuesday of the 3rd Week

I'm being emotionally attacked by own hormones, my own body is attacking my mind. People dismiss it as PMS. As soon as those initials come out, it is not quite respected and holds to support the argument that women should not being in any role of any significance.

Yes, I'm emotional and I feel like crying and screaming at anyone in my path. But that shouldn't demean me. I feel embarrassed to even write this, like saying these things makes my opinion less credible. Of course, I've already acknowledged that I'm a little nutty. So what does that matter anyway.

Randomly, how is the world going t o survive with the current state of spinach! First it was beef, than poultry and now spinach. Just tragedy. Spinach has been a vegetable that I can eat with frequency and ease of preparation.

So back to my mental state. I was trying to figure out what the world was doing to make me so angry and then I realized that it was all with-in. There-by diminishing some of its power. HA. I'm in New York, NY at the moment, so I need all the people coping skills I can get. There are so many people here, tourists, worker be's, transients, and people who constantly want me to go to a comedy club.

So now I feel better. Thanks internet for listening. *nudgin computer warmly*

Rehashing old news.

This particular rant is over something old, like over 24 hours. I feel so late writing about something that happened only 1-2 days ago. Anyhoo. Rosie's comments about radical Christians being as dangerous as radical Islamics. My husband thought she was talking about the David Koresh's and the abortion bombers out there, but I think she is talking about the regular evangelical Christians. But I'm not sure. I was wondering why there is such a tension between Hollywood and Christians. And obviously you would say that Christians attack and picket and protest material in the media that they deem immoral. So that would then cause Hollywood to make media attacking Christians, etc. Egg/Chicken thing.

What made me think more about a simple rosie comment, was that I watched V for Vendetta last week. And it had very anti-Christian over tones. I still liked it, but I felt a little something about it. Anyone can be any religion they want as long as they are not a Christian. Christian's think homosexuality is wrong so that makes Christian's evil. (thoughts were much more coherent this morning, now ..,not so much.)

I do think that the movie/music media is under and poorly utilized by Christians. I like that there have been some movement in that are like Bruce Almighty and Narnia. Movies that are not the Evangelical Afterschool Special.

final thought: Christians and Hollywood need to protest less and make better movies.

Open for Business

Disclosures:

I'm a little nuts. Not to the point of medication, but even my husband says I'm crazy.

I'm not a good writer. Grammar and I just never got along.

Blue is my favorite color.

-d